April Fools... It's a Blog!

April 1, 2026

I have been putting this site together for the better part of a week for exactly this purpose. I was feeling nostalgic, remembering how to code from my GeoCities days, thinking about how I used to blog incessantly on LiveJournal, Xanga. Then, later, vlogs on YouTube, Tumblr. I was chronically online but not being sold stuff all the time. Those were the days! But now that I'm starting at this semi-blank block of code, I mostly feel... nervous? Scared? Why did I want to do this in the first place?

At the beginning of the year, I attempted to start a physical journaling practice, but something about it was unsatisfying to me. I don't always have the energy or the privacy or space or time to journal the way I want to. I like to write - and when I think of my most creative years, I was writing like this. Somewhat stream of consciousness, somewhat confessional. And I either want the feeling that those experiences gave me or I want to create something completely new. Hard to say, really.

It also doesn't help that I've been reading A/S/L by Jeanne Thornton, a really engrossing and weird book about a group of online friends who attempted to build a video game together in the early internet. The book has so much - it's about identity, interests over time, gender, relationships. But the resonances I feel from my life are all about the internet - about childhood hope and how it sours over time, about feeling like you've lost your creativity as an adult. I'm only about halfway through, so maybe I'll write a little reflection about it here when I'm done. But I don't think it's a total coincidence that I ended up here while reading that book.

I'm also in a time of transition. For the last year, I've been working a placeholder job while I figure out my next career steps (this can probably be a whole post, too - I should start keeping a list). In two weeks, I'm starting a new job - a REAL job, if you will. It's back in my field, albeit in a new direction. It's full time, it's serious. But there's nothing like a total life routine upheaval to make me feel like I have to fix all my habits and my engagement with the world. I'll primarily be working remotely, so I'm finding myself having a lot of hopes and expectations of my time. I'm gonna have a good relationship with my body! I'm going to get outside! I'm going to be creatively fulfilled!

I know full well that only some of these hopes will come to fruition, but I can't help but try to grasp my chance at some new beginnings and fresh energy, in lots of areas of my life. So here I am! Blogging, writing, trying to get some of my thoughts into a physical (or physical-ish) space. A space I can point to, at least. I'd like to keep track of my creative projects here, reflect on media I consume, to track my life. Is it too cliche to call it a digital scrapbook? An online catch-all? Whatever, get off my ass about it.

There's a non-zero chance that this is the last thing that ever ends up on this little corner of the internet, but maybe that's okay too. I'm trying to enjoy the process of things. Making this ugly little website and starting to put things here has been a process, and I've flexed muscles I had almost forgotten I'd had. And that's something to be proud of. But maybe it will be more.

Reading: A/S/L by Jeanne Thornton

Watching: Below Deck Mediterranean Season 4 Episode 9, SNL UK Season 1 Episode 2 (Jamie Dornan/Wolf Alice)

Eating: Tagalong Girl Scout Cookie, Harney & Sons Green Tea with Coconut

Listening: This American Life "I Want What I Want", local indie music radio station which played the song "My City Was Gone" by the Pretenders